I am a dying sister #36

And I am walking by myself 

And crying for myself

And cutting to myself 

And afraid of myself

And sitting for coffee, by myself 

And I am choosing by myself my fears, my loves, my desires.

And I am scaring and surprising myself 

And lounging and playing and lying 

And confronting myself, with myself

And going to sleep with the false and the truth of myself

And wake up on the morning to realize I am here alone with myself. 

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I am a dying sister #35

Wandering 

So much of it

Bags plodded along day by day

As I have been lost

Inside a tired mission statement 

Inside a sleeping bag full of red ants 

On a sea voyage without a compass

In a night remorse without a scruple 
.

Traveling 

So much of it

The trees passed one by one

As I have been stuck

Inside a National Geographic loop

Inside a nature party track

On a loss of senses of too much painkillers

I am a dying sister #35

I don’t know what’s in your mind

That pretty little wild spark in your eyes 

That pure lightening you could send from your heart

And make me hop, hope, cope

Everything.
I don’t know what’s in your mind, brother

That long legs of your are still dancing?

That wave of thoughts we shared is still storming?

And could you make me feel, kill, heal

For you?
I don’t know what’s in your mind, partner

And I can’t help a thing,

Anything.

I am a dying sister #34

So many boxes in a silent room

So little light 

All dust

All burst

When I open the door
More boxes in the silent room

More of then every day

All are mine

All are yours

Yet it’s only me to open the door
Please come back.

I am dying sister#33

Cut cut

The movie must stop

I will block your camera 

if you’ll try to shut me up

Down down

It’s all have been done

Now let it bleed, let it hurt

Just cut me in

And I’ll cut you out 

I am a dying sister #32

It is not I, who I am
I do not have anything at all

I do not have a thing that was made out of new

I do not have a thing that was casted out of old

I do not have a thing that is anything 

Or something that has a naught 

I have a thing I do not know what it is

Or what is it

I am not a fire and I am not a smoke

Burning for desist

I do not have in me no piety or piousness 

Yearning for Relation to God

I am not a spirit and not a body

Hovering above the water

A bit before the light 

A bit after the chaos 

I am a dying sister

I am a dying sister #31

I want to look into your eyes

Deep into the brown

I want to look at you and say

This is it

That is all

And then to walk away into another world

 

Tell me I am bad, tell me I am good

Tell me I cam mix it all

And make it understood

Please tell me I do wrong, even this is right

I just want to mix it all

And get it through the night

 

I want to look in to your eyes

Into the deep deep brown

I want you to say

This is it

That is all

Tell me it is time to walk away

Into another world

I am a dying sister #30

Cuts turn into scars, I covered themĀ  with new clothes

A Soft eye surrounded by wrinkles- must be hidden by colored powders

On my cold feet I stretched a mesh and assembled leggings

I well did fixed my stepsĀ  with my blue heels shoes

Every day I pick more flowers, cutting off the stalk’s petal

I put them in the office, in the kitchen, in the bedroom

In the blood of my heart, in the depth of my guts

Parallel universes and quantificational objects-

Says the angel who has accompanied me until now

Parallel universes and quantificational objects.

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